Frozen, Sick, Lazy
The furnace died on Thursday
By died, I don’t so much mean it no longer functions, as much as I mean that they discovered a 3 1/2″ crack in the heat exchanger, which causes a very slight hazard of carbon monoxide poisoning to you and your entire family.
So it’s not so much dead, as it’s disassembled and if I turn it back on, I may end up dead.
Except for that, it works great! Oh yes, the original problem was the blower fan wasn’t working anymore. So maybe it wasn’t working great anyway.
As everyone knows, furnaces only die ~2 days after major winter storms, causing two phenomena to occur simultaneously
- Nobody has any space heaters left
- Nobody will be able replace your furnace for at least 5 days.
In our case, we found 3 space heaters hidden under random baskets of easter candy at Target, after searching Lowes, Home Depot, K-Mart, and 7 other places. Our house is now a balmy 56 degrees.
Luckily, our Home Warranty Company was happy to pay the ungodly sum of money it costs to upgrade a 22 year old furnace and pieces, and was even willing to pay someone to do it this weekend, so that we didn’t freeze to death. Heck, they even had the parts and furnace ready for pickup by someone within 8 hours of finding out ours was dead.
However, this was not to be, as no HVAC service company in the area actually had any appointments until Tuesday morning. My guess is that they charge people even if they are dead by the time they get there.
To make for a more enjoyable weekend, I also decided to get the stomach flu, which means I have not actually eaten anything in 3 days. Okay, so, i’ve eaten it, but then it’s ended up outside my stomach through no intention of my own. Combined with the freezing cold, halleucinations, and fever, this is great. I have fever dreams about having a furnace.
In order to avoid a small condition known as “dead rabbits”, we had moved them from the freezing basement to the upstairs. They decided this was not fun enough, so they escaped while we were out looking for space heaters. This has caused great displeasure in my female unit to occur, and she is currently upstairs looking for recipes that involve cooking rabbit.
Oh well. I’m sure everything will go to plan Tuesday.